Glennovna (or, why its fun to have Glenn as your dad)

Since today is my dad's birthday, I decided to write a little something about why it's fun to have him as my dad. I could have gotten sentimental on you all and told you why he's such a great dad to have, but let's stick to the funnier stuff.

- He always tries to play jokes on his kids. It's like April Fool's Day was made for this man. When we lived closer to the mountains, he would wake us up by telling us that a coyote was in our front yard. For some reason, it made him laugh really hard to see his small children run to the window looking for a wild animal by our front door. When we moved to a house in a more urban area that was across from a park, he would try to convince us that homeless man was pooping on our front lawn.

- Speaking of jokes, you can be pretty sure that the first thing he tells you about anything is whatever he thinks will get a reaction out of you. Like, "I told everyone at staff meeting about this guy you're interested in" or "you don't mind that I told the church about that test you failed right?". When I was younger, I believed him. Now I just sit there and wait until he looks up, laughs, says "I'm just kidding!" and moves on to what he really was going to say.

- The man is afraid of technology. Only recently did he make the switch from typewriters to laptop computers. This switch, however, doesn't mean he suddenly is uploading pictures of family vacations, synching his iCal with his BlackBerry or even getting an email. What it means is that his secretary set up the computer so that all he has to do is open it and it immediately opens to a Word document where he can type things. I'm not convinced he knows how to save things.

-But he did learn how to text recently! At first, responses would take a half hour and would be all in caps. Now they're a little quicker and in normal capitalization. He actually communicates a lot this way now. I think it's his way of connecting with his kids.

- He cries at the end of movies. Even if he just walked in we are finishing a movie. He doesn't need to see the whole thing, just seeing two people kissing and walking off into a sunset is enough to make him cry.

- I'm pretty sure he loves the dogs, Homer and Violet, more than he loves the rest of us. They get hugs first, they get to go on walks with him, they get talked to, they get songs dedicated to their adventures...

- He eats disgusting combinations of food. Like, ketchup on everything. If we're at a fancy restaurant, he'll say to the waiter, "now, I know this is so tacky but... can I have some ketchup with this steak?". He also likes to put huge amounts of butter (or, Smart Balance) on things. Like cold meat. If my sister catches him, he'll try to hide what he's eating. Like a raccoon digging through a trash can who gets caught by a flashlight.

- The older I get, the more of his characteristics I pick up. I put ketchup on everything. I stare off in the distance for no reason. I repeat things to people several times during conversations (just to make sure they remember!). I try to play practical jokes on people and think it's hilarious. I bite my nails. I say things like, "this is what money is for!" when buying movie tickets. I walk, jog, walk. I have a receding hairline.

Happy birthday, dad! I love you!