Being as it is Valentine’s Day, I have decided to reflect on love. But wait! I’m single and alone. So what should I write about? So after much reflection and…coffee…drinking, I wrote out this list. Which I have aptly titled
“Things I love Besides the Opposite Sex”
Otherwise known as, “I really have no choice”
Blue Bottle Coffee
This is a coffee that my friends from San Francisco introduced me to when I was visiting them last spring. One taste and I was in love. Madly. In Love. There are few things I love more than this seductive and smooth coffee. This coffee listens to me. It tells me I look pretty when I’ve just woken up. It helps me make friends and get my homework done. And it does all this with class. And dignity. And caffeine.
The Snuggie
My sister Abby sent me a Snuggie to celebrate my last year of college (which has now become a last year and a half because I’m a champion, apparently) and it was love at first snuggle. I wear my Snuggie on a regular basis, sometimes without anything else on! Because when you’re wearing a blanket with arms, why bother with clothing? I mean, right??
Starbucks Via Coffee
I love Starbucks Via Coffee because I actually hate it so much. The entire concept of it really pisses me off and so I’m indebted to it because it reminds me I’m alive when my blood get pumping at the mere sight of those stupid little packets and the marketing that surrounds them. It’s kind of like my sister and her hate of Tapas restaurants (sometimes I mention tapas restaurants in her presence just to set her off on her rant about the stupidity of paying so much money for fancy snacks). Why do I hate Starbucks Via Coffee so much? I will tell you why, reader. Because the entire premise of Starbucks Via Coffee is that you carry portable coffee with you so that you never have to go without a cup of sweet delicious Starbucks coffee. That’s brilliant starbucks! But where should I get my Via packets? At this location? Or the one across the street from it? How about the one next to my grocery store? Or the one next to the bank? Or the drive thru one on the way to the grocery store and bank? Golly Starbucks, with all your locations where should I go to get my tiny packet of to-go Starbucks?? WHERE? ANSWER: YOU SUCK STARBUCKS VIA. As you can see, Starbucks Via really pisses me off. And for reminding my why I’m alive (to see the downfall of Starbucks Via), I love it besides the opposite sex.
Puppies
More than babies, for sure.
Watching “That’s So Raven” while working out.
I don’t think this needs an explanation.
To finish this off, I leave you with a quote from my life coach, Elizabeth Lemon, who says,
“Happy Valentine’s Day No One!”
